Friday, August 28, 2015

Zero. Zilch. Nada.

made it to Day 5 and it seems the embryo quality this cycle was atrocious - much worse than the first cycle which was less than ideal. Obviously, seeing we do not even have one blast to show for it. 

In case you cant imagine, this is heartbreaking. It just adds salt to a really bad wound. 

This week can officially go to hell.  I woke up this morning feeling extremely hungover and I didn't drink a drop of alcohol. 

What's next? Your guess is as good as mine. I find myself to be a quite informed patient (thanks Google!) and I have oodles of things flooding my mind...
  • The new protocol caused poor quality eggs which in turn created the poor quality embryos or it could be my husband as he had a fever in the 100's with an average of 103 degrees for almost 5 days.  He could have had an infection which in turn affected his quality.
  • Do I really want to put my body through another cycle? I am struggling with not feeling like myself already and this terrifies me, but is the 3rd time a charm? Your guess is as good as mine.
  • Sure, we could test the 4 frozen embryos but it's not cost efficient and could just lead to a more expensive disappointment.  
  • I could just beg my RE to transfer 3 and say a Hail Mary, but then again my embryologist has written numerous articles about how transferring 3 embryos is negligent. I am pretty sure he wouldn't be on board with that.  
  • MY RE is persistent about waiting one cycle before trying again. I cannot stomach waiting.  I finally start to feel like myself again and BAM!
  • We could switch the PGS testing to a Day 3 test next retrieval and hope we get at least a 6-8 to test.  We would not be able to test the biopsies we have frozen. The tested Day 3's could also die off before transfer.  So, ya that's just a cluster fuck and doesn't seem like a good idea now that I think about it.      
A professionals opinion...

I just spoke to my RE who feels another round is the way to go. Like myself, she does not feel comfortable sending what we have for testing. The embryo quality was less than poor and it could have been due to my eggs not liking the Lupron (me and you both eggs) and my husband's high fever (his analysis was much less than wonderful) or quite possibly a mixture of both. We also should have postponed the new carpet. Hello chemicals! Whats done is done.  She was adamant about waiting the cycle before beginning our 3rd retrieval. Fun Fact : My estradiol got as high as 3800 this past cycle, and I wonder why I feel so damn lousy after my retrievals. Pssh...

So, I guess its back to praying that the hell I am wreaking on my body will be worth it. 

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